Dying makes me shudder...I'll regret having to leave this wonderful planet the most.That's something I can't control,so I'll just go with the flow!Pondering about life and death,na that is not what this post is about.It is about an introspection of my much-to-be-changed lifestyle.The 80 something me is looking at the present me and she goes tsk tsk tsk!That woman's got some nerve!But,I decide to forgive her,she invited me over for a cuppa :).And the evening goes like this.....
Crappy straw haired woman : Hi der,please make yourself comfortable dear.
Her pretty daughter offers me a comfortable plush leather chair.I plonk myself and oooh my bottom is ooooh so comfy!This woman is rich man.I look around,the house,it's big,elegant and stylish.I wish I was living there.
CSHW : Looks at me bemused, I WISH I HAD MADE MORE FRIENDS INSTEAD.
Me : I have amazing friends and I love them!
CSHW : Hope they know that.Take time out with your friends dear,you never know how long they'll be around.You know,I used to love dancing,I still do!
Me : What stopped you then?
CSHW : Me.I always thought I'd look stupid and people would make fun of me.I WISH I HADN'T GIVEN SO MUCH THOUGHT TO WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF ME.
Me : That's sad. Since you've realized that,whats stopping you now?
CSHW : Are you kidding me!Look at me,I've been fighting weakness for 10 years now!I'm glad I can make it to the loo without help.I'll let you in on a secret lil girl,you know what's worse than dying?It is living a life of pain and dependency.I WISH I HAD TAKEN GOOD CARE OF MYSELF IN MY HAY DAY.
I stare at my feet,not knowing what to say.The poor rich lady.
CSHW : You seem to be a polite girl,she smiles.
I smile back.
CSHW : I wasn't so polite when I was young,treated many people in many different ways.Now when I have nothing to do and I lie here all day waiting for my maids to bring in my food,those thoughts haunt me.I used to think I was at the top and that was all that was needed.I WISH I HAD TREATED ALL THE PEOPLE I MET WITH A LIL MORE LOVE.
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Hey I was invited over for coffee,where is it?
CSHW : Your tea and cookies will be here any second,dear.
Freak,she can read minds,this lady.
CSHW : I was never a foodie,but now when I am imposed with all these diet restrictions,I WISH I HAD EATEN AND COOKED MANY DIFFERENT CUISINES.
CSHW : Speaking of different cuisines,have you travelled around?
Me : I have,but not as much as I'd like to.
CSHW : Why is that?
Me : I never seem to have the time.
CSHW : Laughs.There is never going to be time dear.I WISH I HAD MADE MORE TIME TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO.
CSHW : Travel more dear,there is nothing more fullfilling than seeing new things,meeting new people.The world has so much in it,one lifetime is not enough to experience its glory.I WISH I HAD TRAVELLED MORE,SEEN MORE,LEARNT MORE ABOUT ALL THE DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND THEIR WAYS OF LIVING.
CSHW : But I do wish I had taken more pictures of the few places I did visit.Heck, I wish I had taken more pictures of just about everything in my life.My memory fails me now,you see.I'd like to relive all those moments through the pictures.
CSHW : Do you play music?
Me : I know a little of the piano.But then again I never have the time to practice.
CSHW : I learnt the piano too but never stuck to it.I WISH I HAD STUCK TO ALL THE THINGS I STARTED AND LEFT UNFINISHED.
Me : I/'m sorry,it looks like you have a lot of unhappiness.
CSHW : Its mostly regret,dear.All this time by myself makes me think,was it all meaningful?I WISH I LIVED A MEANINGFUL LIFE.
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I look at my watch,it's time for me to leave.This lady has been whacko,regardless,I'm glad I helped,if at all I did.
Me : Bye grandma. (oops,I don't even know her name!)
CSHW : Goodbye my dear.Here is a bonus one for you.I WISH I HAD SAID I LOVE YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVED,MORE OFTEN.
And zap she was gone!!Gone as in gone.Hell what is happening,am I going insane or is this a message from above???
Crappy straw haired woman : Hi der,please make yourself comfortable dear.
Her pretty daughter offers me a comfortable plush leather chair.I plonk myself and oooh my bottom is ooooh so comfy!This woman is rich man.I look around,the house,it's big,elegant and stylish.I wish I was living there.
CSHW : Looks at me bemused, I WISH I HAD MADE MORE FRIENDS INSTEAD.
CSHW : Hope they know that.Take time out with your friends dear,you never know how long they'll be around.You know,I used to love dancing,I still do!
Me : What stopped you then?
CSHW : Me.I always thought I'd look stupid and people would make fun of me.I WISH I HADN'T GIVEN SO MUCH THOUGHT TO WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT OF ME.
Me : That's sad. Since you've realized that,whats stopping you now?
CSHW : Are you kidding me!Look at me,I've been fighting weakness for 10 years now!I'm glad I can make it to the loo without help.I'll let you in on a secret lil girl,you know what's worse than dying?It is living a life of pain and dependency.I WISH I HAD TAKEN GOOD CARE OF MYSELF IN MY HAY DAY.
CSHW : You seem to be a polite girl,she smiles.
I smile back.
CSHW : I wasn't so polite when I was young,treated many people in many different ways.Now when I have nothing to do and I lie here all day waiting for my maids to bring in my food,those thoughts haunt me.I used to think I was at the top and that was all that was needed.I WISH I HAD TREATED ALL THE PEOPLE I MET WITH A LIL MORE LOVE.
Hey I was invited over for coffee,where is it?
CSHW : Your tea and cookies will be here any second,dear.
Freak,she can read minds,this lady.
CSHW : I was never a foodie,but now when I am imposed with all these diet restrictions,I WISH I HAD EATEN AND COOKED MANY DIFFERENT CUISINES.
CSHW : Speaking of different cuisines,have you travelled around?
Me : I have,but not as much as I'd like to.
CSHW : Why is that?
Me : I never seem to have the time.
CSHW : Laughs.There is never going to be time dear.I WISH I HAD MADE MORE TIME TO DO ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO.
CSHW : Travel more dear,there is nothing more fullfilling than seeing new things,meeting new people.The world has so much in it,one lifetime is not enough to experience its glory.I WISH I HAD TRAVELLED MORE,SEEN MORE,LEARNT MORE ABOUT ALL THE DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND THEIR WAYS OF LIVING.
CSHW : But I do wish I had taken more pictures of the few places I did visit.Heck, I wish I had taken more pictures of just about everything in my life.My memory fails me now,you see.I'd like to relive all those moments through the pictures.
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Me : I know a little of the piano.But then again I never have the time to practice.
CSHW : I learnt the piano too but never stuck to it.I WISH I HAD STUCK TO ALL THE THINGS I STARTED AND LEFT UNFINISHED.
Me : I/'m sorry,it looks like you have a lot of unhappiness.
CSHW : Its mostly regret,dear.All this time by myself makes me think,was it all meaningful?I WISH I LIVED A MEANINGFUL LIFE.
I look at my watch,it's time for me to leave.This lady has been whacko,regardless,I'm glad I helped,if at all I did.
Me : Bye grandma. (oops,I don't even know her name!)
CSHW : Goodbye my dear.Here is a bonus one for you.I WISH I HAD SAID I LOVE YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVED,MORE OFTEN.
And zap she was gone!!Gone as in gone.Hell what is happening,am I going insane or is this a message from above???
